I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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