I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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