He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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