i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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