what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
