no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
