I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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