are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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