Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
