New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize