I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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