Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i out mim tonsoeep
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