dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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