Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
