I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize