I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
