Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
