You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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