Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I lost the right to judge tonight
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
