Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
