I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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