doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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