I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
