his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
