Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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