Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
