I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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