I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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