Can Purell be used as lube?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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