i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
