I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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