And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
