so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you didnt know i had herpes?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
