I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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