why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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