I've blown a few things in my day
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
