Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
