haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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