Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just want nice things and good sex
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
