there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize