Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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