I want to have your abortion
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize