dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
