All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
