the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
