Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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