i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
