I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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