You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
