What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
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