Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
