So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
