are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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