what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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