you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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