Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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