Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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