I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
