Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
