So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
